Waiting Room

Off to the doctor

There aren’t many things I hate more than waiting at the doctor’s office. The nurse calls your name from a germ-infested waiting room only to be ushered into another, more isolated waiting room. Without fail I have to fight the urge to peek into the hall where I can hear the doctor casually chit-chatting and ask him/her, “Why am I still waiting in this cold room?” I am extremely selfish with and protective of my time. This is one of my many character flaws.

I ‘m quickly learning with the birth of my perfectly imperfect child that I’d better get used to waiting rooms and doctor’s offices and hospital wings. This will be our life.  Since coming home from the NICU, we’ve attended four doctor appointments and another tomorrow. Several more in the coming weeks. He’s only been home four days!

At one of the appointments, Finn had to endure an infant metabolic screening test in which the nurse pricked his foot (it was difficult for her to find a spot that hadn’t already been pricked) and dropped his blood onto a piece of paper to be mailed off to “the state.” He didn’t even flinch. We all praised him for being so brave and the nurse was amazed that this was her first perfect infant test since he wasn’t squirming. As soon as Joey and I left the hospital, we acknowledged what we didn’t want to admit…he didn’t flinch because he doesn’t have much or any feeling in his feet. This made us very sad. Tough to walk when you can’t feel your feet. Maybe the feeling and movement will continue from his legs down to his toes. Maybe not.

My mom flew in today…what a blessing it will be to have her here! She is extremely servant-minded–something I greatly admire about her. We are loving our quiet (and loud) moments with Finn. He is such a blessing and a reminder of God’s mysterious beauty.

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4 thoughts on “Waiting Room

  1. Thank you, THANK YOU for this update. Gosh I think about you 3 constantly and pray for you daily…but wowzers friends. It’s do good to know exactly what to pray for. Holy smokes that’s a lot of drs appointments. So thankful your mama is there with you. I will continue to pray for miracles.

  2. I am with you on the waiting rooms. I never had the nerve to actually take any of my kids into the “sick” part of the waiting rooms because I figured we were already “sick” enough thank you very much. And—how many times must I show you my insurance card???? I pray you stumble across nurses and doctors who make up for the waits and germ warfare. I’m also praying Finn finds a way to comfort your fears even now. He may be tiny but he’s proved he’s not afraid of anything, any diagnosis, or anybody. Love you. Have no idea what it feels like to walk/run your path but know we are running alongside shouting obnoxious things like, “you can do it! push through! there’s a down hill slope coming up!”

  3. Dear Ashley,
    You are such a gifted writer! Little Finn is a blessed baby to have you and his Daddy as his coaches and his advocates. He will also bring you blessing! Life is long, and sometimes what seems impossible becomes possible indeed!
    Penny and Tim
    (We are parents of Jeremy, another very special perfect, imperfect child)

  4. I’m sorry that you’re spending too much time in doctor’s offices, but I’m thankful that you have access to health care that gives Finn a chance at a good life. May the moments of grief that come be overshadowed by God’s love and mercy.

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