29 Candles

Today I am 29. Nope, not afraid of my thirties…bring ’em on. I certainly don’t want to live longing for years past. I believe the best moments are yet to come. Maybe I feel this way because my parents and grandparents have aged so well. I mean, Grandpa Milt went ski-diving last year at 78.

When I was a kid it’s safe to say I was fearless. Even reckless.

Back flips off the diving board, feet dangling off the precipice of the cliff, lizards clamped down on my earlobes for earrings, a single sunflower in my hand enticing a field of Brahman cattle, deer hunting with dad, challenging boys for monkey bar races, sitting alone at many a lunch table, content.

Mom says I was always a fighter. At 14 weeks, I threatened to miscarry. Then again at 28 weeks. Born at 37 weeks, same as Finn. My pregnancy was a bit of deja vu for my parents, though for different reasons.

At some point I quit risk-taking. I was tired of being the new girl. I just wanted to blend in, to be normal. A couple years in college I think I even forgot who I was. I suspect one way Satan gets us to quit being who God intended us to be is that we quit doing things we love. Scary. I felt this way during my pregnancy too. I didn’t want the “special” calling to raise a disabled child. Ugh, I just wanted normal. But Finn’s so much better than normal. His bravery and perseverance is teaching me to be fearless again. Though still rather paralyzed, his legs are continuing to move more and more. He is strong. We even saw his little toes curl a bit last week.

I think life is something you should cannonball into, making a gigantic splash…not something you dip your toes in.



11 thoughts on “29 Candles

  1. Happy 29th Ashley!!! Blessings and joy from your loving Father in heaven. YAY on Finn’s toes curling and a bit more movement in his legs. Each day is a gift from God so rise in the morning singing His praises and let His blessings shower down on you.

  2. So, SO deeply thankful for your life and your heart. Thank you for reminding us all the beauty of bravely living as we were created! Happy Birthday my love!

  3. You are so right that the best moments are yet to come–more wonderful moments than you can imagine. Happy birthday, Ashley.

  4. Ashley Dawn, I’d like to say that I wish life would have been easy for you, but that would be a lie. I am thankful for the bumps and bruises along way for they have been God’s tool to mold you into what He intended all along. Life is not to be controlled but to be lived recklessly dependent on God to see us through its challenges.
    I like having my little risk taker is back, normal is boring. Happy birthday, Mom!

  5. wonderful blog…we are very proud of you and your accomplishments…Finn will be a special boy….stay strong…love, GG and Poppy

  6. Good Stuff here and I hope your BD was a great one.
    Joey, you married up just as your dad and I did. (Good Job)

    This blog and your mighty Finn have been an inspiration to this old Cowboy as well as the two of you

    Can’t wait for the day I get to meet him, until then I will continue to read these awesome stories and continue to pray

    Thanks for sharing as your story is a true inspiration and testimony of your faith

    It’s touching more people than you will ever know

    God Bless us all and Joey never forget (boxers over briefs!!!) An old story between the 2 of us.

    T Shane

  7. Happy Belated Birthday, Ash! I enjoy reading your blogs and think of you so often. Though I don’t always post, I catch up on your updates regularly. Love to you, Finn & Joey from your Aunt Linny. It’s finally summer here in Minnesota – yay!!

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