Joey washed our cloth diapers tonight. This was sweet of him, as it involves fishing them out of our diaper pails and wet bags, face averted, mouth shut tight so as not to inhale any of their toxic fumes. Once the cycle ended, we opened the washing machine to separate diapers and inserts and we noticed all of its contents were a feminine shade of pink. Joey accidentally washed everything with four red (never-been-washed) shop towels from my car washing frenzy this weekend. Bummer.
This was the appropriate culmination of a tough day for our marriage. We do argue every now and then. I promise.
Joey’s been training for a triathlon in the wee hours of the morning. But Finn’s been waking up while he’s gone since he started daycare. So this means I get to do all the early morning feedings…for both Finn and Jersey. This also means Jersey hasn’t been getting her usual runs and she’s been extra naughty. I wake up stressed. I don’t eat a good breakfast. I get to work late. I pray to be less selfish but also want my way. Yuk.
It’s easy to keep tabs in marriage (or any relationship, really). Who does more? Who loves better? Who remembers? Who unloads the dishwasher 80% of the time? Who changes the most diapers? Then we use these mental records as ammunition during arguments. I more than Joey…see, I’m keeping tabs again. I don’t like this.
We think marriage is important. So much so that we’ve decided it’s the first, most important relationship (short of Christ) in our lives. Before church or ministry…because our marriage is a ministry. Before family…because we chose to “leave” our families and begin a new one. Before kids…because we believe our children will feel more loved if they know their parents love each other.
In light of the stressful morning and because our marriage comes first, we called off our lunch plans and met at Dara Marie’s to hash it out over yummy chicken salad sandwiches and strawberries and mixed greens. And we shared a brownie. We stated what we each “needed.” I need sleep and a weekly road ride. He needs to swim twice a week and run or bike once. We developed a schedule in the notes section of our iphones, and came to a compromise.
We laugh a lot…especially when times are tough. So tonight we danced silly for 90 seconds to the itunes preview of Call Me Maybe and decided Finn won’t care that his diapers are pink.