More wisdom from Voskamp this week (I will finish this book one day, I promise) as she reflects on her baby sister’s premature death:
“…and I won’t shield God from my anguish by claiming He’s not involved in the ache of this world and Satan prowls but he’s a lion on a leash and the God who governs all can be shouted at when I bruise, and I can cry and I can howl and He embraces the David hearts who pound on His heart and I can moan deep that He did this–and He did. I feel Him hold me–a flailing child in Father’s arms.”
Many times I feel like a David child, beating the breast of my Daddy. I shout, yet I also find rest in His capable arms. Despite the pain of this world, I believe it’s beneficial to focus on our blessings…the thousands of bright spots in our mundane days. But how do I know the difference between blessing and curse? Should I accept as blessing only the things I believe are good? My perspective is flawed, limited. Maybe what I think is curse is actually a blessing.
I don’t like to talk about Satan often; I feel it gives him too much credit. But I love the imagery of a “lion on a leash” prowling, searching for an opportunity to steal our joy and get us to focus on the ways in which we have been wronged, cheated and disappointed by God. Even restrained, he prompts us to turn from our Father. Find more curse than blessing in our days.
Finn’s innocence and purity make it difficult to be negative. I’m falling more and more in love with him as I watch his personality develop. This week he’s making “ba ba ba” and “da da da” sounds and lots of expressive gestures to accompany them. I delight in watching him squeal at his own jokes and giggle at mine too. His joy permeates the room. It works its way into my anxious heart and begs me to settle down. Take it slow. Drink him in. Be present. Curl up on our Father’s lap and trust that He is working toward our good.