The Virgin and I

This time last year I was pregnant. About seven months…Finn was the size of a butternut squash, I believe. Circumstances were such that I was pregnant at just the perfect time of year. I did not have to endure the stifling hot summer months (I’m SO SORRY for those of you who have), I could wear stretchy leggings with boots on the weekends and feel semi-stylish, my internal temperature was perfect, I never once wore shorts and I had the holidays to blame for any extra poundage.

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Three stockings this Christmas!

My favorite reason to be pregnant during the winter, however, was the Christmas carols. Odd, I know. But being pregnant with a baby boy, I related to the Virgin Mary in an intimate way. She became a real person, no longer a felt Bible character in Sunday School. I obviously wasn’t feeling the kicks of the Christ Child in my ever-stretching belly, but I was bearing a child we were told would be different. One that may not fit in with my friends’ kids, a child that may have more struggles than most. I can’t imagine being told in my first trimester (by an angel, nonetheless) that my baby would be the Messiah…talk about not fitting in!

“Mary did you know that your baby boy would calm a storm with his hand?”

Fear crept into this young mother as I’m sure it crept into Mary. I felt anxious about the unknown and doubtful that I have what it takes to mother such a special child. I felt this overwhelming desire to protect him from the world; to just keep him inside my tummy where it was safe.

“Mary did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?”

Tonight was our annual FBC Christmas tree lighting ceremony. Last year it was freezing so only about 30 people showed up, my sweater didn’t fit over my belly and even my hot cocoa tasted icky. This year was quite the contrast. There was an excellent turnout, kids were running around in shorts and t-shirts and I was holding my nine month old baby boy, fresh shunt revision on his head and very little fear in my heart. I’m thankful for the hope I see when I look into Finn’s clear blue eyes. Thankful for Mary’s example of a brave, faith-filled mother, and thankful for ears to hear and be affected by Christmas carols year after year.photo-156

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4 thoughts on “The Virgin and I

  1. Oh, I am so post-partum — tears just a streamin’ away as I read.
    Having met our surprise boy 2 days ago, this weekend Mikel and I shared several quiet midnight hospital room musings on Mary and Joseph’s experiences. Your thoughts are so moving and touching. Thanks as usual, Ash.

  2. Still “pondering these things in heart”, as I did two years ago, this week…days before we knew OSW would be joining us @ 312 W. Spring. I became very intimate with the quiet speakings of His Spirit. I love that you know those “ponderings”, too. Love.

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