Stuck in the Mud

Of late, the Armstrongs have been muddy.

Joey and I joined my personal training studio and some dear friends for the Dirty Thirty, a 5K mud run with 20 obstacles, this past Saturday morning. We had a blast!

The Next Level Fitness Team (and friends)

The Next Level Fitness Team (and friends)

The start

The start

IMG_1736Some of the obstacles:

Rope climb over a wall

Rope climb over a wall

Ice bath...frigid misery!

Ice bath…frigid misery!

IMG_1767

Took. My. Breath. Away.

Took. My. Breath. Away.

IMG_1758

DSC02910DSC02924We weren’t there to compete, just to finish and have fun with our buds on a gorgeous spring day. The weather was perfect and we all came out covered in Oklahoma red dirt with a medal around our filthy necks.IMG_1798

IMG_1801DSC02930Finn’s been “stuck” too. It feels as though we’re trudging through the mud but just can’t progress. At every stage before walking, Finn has been slow to reach the milestone–and it hasn’t looked the way a “normal kid” would do it–but he’s gotten there eventually.

Now we’re wondering if his chubby little legs have accomplished all they can in terms of muscle innervation. As a trainer, I know how to strengthen a muscle. But if the muscle doesn’t have nerve function, that’s it. We talked with our Sooner Start therapist today about options for transitioning to a wheel chair. They have these cute but cumbersome kid cars and tiny wheelchairs and contraptions for babies like Finn. I’m not ready to acquiesce to this equipment. I guess I knew it was coming, but…I was hoping for healing.

Scooting in the standing frame

Scooting in the standing frame

It’s frustrating to watch him struggle. He balls his hands into fists, drops his head and cries. He’s stubborn (not sure where he got that trait 😉 ) and is easily thwarted when his body fails him. I’ve had this anxious, unsettled feeling in the pit of my stomach for the past couple of months. Like I want to yawn, need to yawn, but my mouth just won’t form the “ahhh.” God made 15 month olds to be able to walk. Toddle. Crawl on all fours. Sit up from lying down. But not my 15 month old.photo-1

I know; same story…but it’s our story and I’m not liking this chapter. Feels like we’re stuck and he’s all muddy; like I want him to take a bath and make it all better.

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Stuck in the Mud

  1. I know I can’t relate to your experience of watching Finn struggle, but my mama heart hurts along with yours at the thought of it. Praying for strength and endurance as you forge this path with so many unknowns.

  2. I reiterate what Leslie said. Ashley I can’t imagine how hard it is to watch Finn struggle. His story is so amazing already and you’re doing a fabulous job!!! Praying for you guys!

  3. I still pray his legs would run, when I’m growning that mine hurt, while doing my measily mileage. Won’t stop. Finn motivates. And so does his momma.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s