When the “Mexico” envelope in my sports bra drawer was overflowing with random bills, Joey took its contents to the bank to deposit. Then in December he secretly booked the trip we’d been saving up for since the week Finn was born. We knew in February 2012 that an escape from reality would be necessary as soon as we could afford it.
So last week, my love of seven years (TODAY!) and I kissed our munchkin goodbye and left him in the capable hands of my mom. Thank you, mom (and dad!). And we boarded a plane for Cancun. Delayed by four hours, but who cares?! We hired a private driver to take us south to Riviera Maya.
Tipped said private driver and opened two ornate wooden doors into the beautiful world of rest, luxury and romance: Excellence Resorts Riviera Cancun. Big sigh of relief.
This was our second stay and we enjoyed it even more than our first three years ago. I’m 100% convinced that married couples need to get away. Somewhere stress-free and fun. On any budget. We highly recommend the Excellence Resorts–worth every penny!
I’m so for marriage.
It is our closest reflection of the Christ-human relationship that we can find on this earth. It demands self-sacrifice, love without stupid conditions and humility…three characteristics that make many of us–myself included–squirm in discomfort.
The best marriage advice I’ve happened upon in my short seven years married to Joseph Earl is thus:
Re-fall in love with your spouse. Over and over and over again.
But if we keep trying to get our spouse to be the person they were when we married them, we’re going backward, right? And I want to always be moving forward…adapting, changing, evolving into the woman God intended me to become.
I have to explore Joey’s most recent career aspirations, his favorite foods, what he’s ordering at Starbucks, his latest insecurities, what he thinks of spanking and therapy and video games for Finn, the things that are inspiring him, how many push ups he can do these days, and the ways I can say, “I love you,” more clearly.
It takes work, intention and tedious practice.
And some days I’d rather just come home from work, ask Joey how his day was, listening half-heartedly, while I cook a familiar recipe. Then veg on the couch watching a recorded episode of So You Think You Can Dance. And go to bed. It’d be easier than trying at my marriage.
But Joey and I have seven years of sharpening and disagreeing and encouraging and laughing under our belts and I’m committed to spending seventy-times-seven more years re-falling in love with this man. This opportunity is a blessing I am well aware of.
Happy anniversary, Joey!