Pick Up Lines

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I’m typing this on my phone so sorry if it doesn’t format well…
So I’m at the Dallas Mania Fitness Conference. I look forward to this three day weekend all year long. I learn new exercises, get inspired by people much fitter than me, and since becoming a mom, I get a little alone time.

I like alone time.

My favorite spin instructor ever, Jay Blahnik, gave his last presentation of his career today, and I got to sit in the front row. I literally cry tears of pain, exhaustion and pride in every one of his classes. I gave my ALL for Finn in the last sixty seconds. I live for this stuff.
So after five hour and 1/2 long classes of butt kicking, I put on my swimsuit to head to the rooftop pool for some “me time.” I just have to tell you about the hilarity that ensues.

I chose a lone lounge chair out in the sun. I was the only lounger. I’m painting my toenails (who has time to paint their toenails at home?!), and the aquatic “master class” decided to set up shop directly in front of my chair. I was about to get up to move away from the awkward sliding and swooshing movements of the instructors, and a frat boy sits down next to me. Beer in hand and takes off his shirt. He asks if I’m Amanda. Nice one. Nope, I’m Ashley. Who are you? Ben. He asks what I do…he says he’s done TRX…and begins to show me different moves, like the tricep extension (flexes triceps), bicep curl and squeeze (flexes biceps)…I’m not lying!…the suspended plank (crunches abs).

I flash him my ring to make him stop. He wisely asks if my husband works out too? Uh, he’s a rock climber. We like to be outside. Oh, like American Ninja Warrior? Yes. Exactly.

Silence.

I decide I can no longer listen to “I Like Candy” anymore and I’m not going to be able to read my book with frat boy next to me, so I say I’m gonna leave. What are you, like 24? (Awwww…sweet boy) Nope, I’m 30. Wow. I’m 34. Cool. No, I’m 21. He says he sat by me because he thought I was 20. I tell him sorry I’m a bummer. I am 30, have a kid and a husband and wish him luck with all the single women at the conference.

I haven’t been hit on in a long time, so it was both flattering and hilariously awkward for all involved…the 21 year old flexer, the aquatic class directly in front of my chair, the instructors whom I secretly videotaped, and for me.

Looking forward to another sore day of fun and fitness tomorrow. 🙂

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