Two Candles

Finn Joseph,

You’re TWO years old today! Wow. It seems we just celebrated your first birthday (see post).DSC_0181

In the short 24 months I’ve known you, and the nine scary months prior, I think you’ve made me a better person. At least I feel myself changing. Spilled milk isn’t such a big deal. I’m becoming stronger, kinder, bolder, less selfish and a little more like Christ inside. All because of you.ArmstrongOctober2013_5 copy

I believe all parents have grandiose dreams for their kids, and though my dreams for you have changed, I am no different. I believe you are so unique, so special, so gifted that you were created for some great purpose. I dream you’ll be a gold medal Paralympic athlete, Valedictorian, a brilliant medical researcher creating fool-proof shunts for people like yourself, a talented musician, the first rock climber with Spina Bifida to flash a 5.14…

But the truth is, your life is important even if it ends up being very simple. Maybe the only people who will know your name are close friends and family. That’s okay. There aren’t many two year olds with a family like yours–people who love you unconditionally, who will fight for you, who are on their knees for you.

Your toothy smile fills the room with joy.IMG_0970

Your sensitive heart (and ears) make me protective.

Your innocence is pure.

Your sense of humor surprises me.IMG_6913

Your cheeks are oh-so-kissable.IMG_6713

Your naughtiness reminds me you’re a child.

Your lifeless legs stir in me anger and sadness, but also determination.IMG_6716

Your voice is the sweetest melody.

Your unpredictable health reminds me you are not mine. You are His. I am not in control.

You are TWO! And I am thankful for each of the last million + minutes I’ve spent being your mommy. I can’t wait to watch you grow into a big brother, to wipe your tears when life is mean and to cheer you on as you conquer fears and curbs alike. You are my little superhero.  (related posts: Superheroes and Child of Steel)

Happy Birthday, Mighty Finn!DSC_1580




10 thoughts on “Two Candles

  1. I am a new SB mother. My boy is 2 and a half months and I feel he is much older than that and I already feel everything you have written, every bit of it, except the anger :). I have accepted God’s will but He is Able and I will NOT give up praying for my son and for Finn. When I look at Finn’s pictures, I feel he is telling I am fine and your son will fine too, so don’t worry.

    Thank you for this blog, at least I know I am not alone. God bless!

    And yes, Happy Birthday Finn, may you always be happy!

  2. Hi! I came to be aware of your blog through your sister-in-law, Leah. We worked together many years ago. I have twin boys, who are five, that have Fragile X Syndrome. They will have cognitive impairments for the rest of their lives. My one son is still not talking. I just wanted to thank you for your words. Although SB is very different from FX, I understand the feelings of sadness, anger, and worrying about the fact they will always be different. I know the Lord’s hand is on Finn and on Alexander and Ivan. He has big plans for all of them!

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