Transition

I’m not a yogi, but I appreciate a good yoga session. I just feel better when I leave the studio. Yoga was the kick-starter of  my fitness for about a month soon after Paisley was born. (See post: Namaste) Something one of the instructors said in that awfully humid room stuck with me:

“It’s not about hitting the pose. It’s about maintaining control through the transition.”

Wow. Maintaining control through the transitions…of a headstand or of life.

I always felt like yoga was about posing the most beautiful silhouette. Getting upside-down and staying there until blood dripped out of my eardrums…or until the girl next to me fell first. But it’s not about the twist or the bend, it’s about manipulating my body through the movements in a controlled manner. Strength is displayed in the process, not the end result.

Super Finn for Halloween!

Super Finn for Halloween!

We are thick in transition, and some days I’m not maintaining control at all. I let the stress of the details rule my mind, keeping me awake at night. My mind scrolls through To Do Lists and worries about things like double mortgages, our double-shingled roof, closing dates and still no childcare for my kids. We begin work in Tulsa on the 10th and I still don’t know who will be caring for my children.

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Boo! Paisley is four months old!

Super Finn has my heart.

Super Finn has my heart.

Oh, and we decided to give Jersey away. It was such a difficult decision; she was my first kid.

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But I know she’s going to a good home where she will be well taken care of. She taught us responsibility and how to love something other than ourselves. She prepared us for cleaning up messes and waking up at the crack of dawn. She was so loyal. So kind to Finn and Paisley. She was beautiful and smart. She loved us unconditionally.

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I will miss you terribly, Jersey Girl.

My clients have been so good to listen to me vent for the past month. Eddie, an ultra-marathon runner and one crazy but kind-hearted dude, said yesterday during a quad extension, “If it’s not hard, where’s the fun in that?!” Keep in mind: he runs 100 miles in the mountains for fun. And John, recovering from knee surgery but still training with me twice a week, reminded me this morning that a life void of challenge is boring.

Cass and I in my last Kickboxing class. :(

Cass and I in my last Kickboxing class. 😦

It’s not about having everything settled in Tulsa. It’s not about completing my To Do List. It’s not about the pose.

Can I maintain a gentle tone of voice with my kids? Can I laugh with instead of nag at Joey? (Don’t ask him that.)

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Can I pray instead of worry? Can I sing instead of shout? Can I be generous despite the overwhelming amount of cash flow escaping our bank account? It’s about maintaining control through the transition.

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Let’s Go

I haven’t lived anywhere as long as I’ve lived in Norman. I moved 8 times growing up and the only constancy in my life has been change. I love change. It builds character. But over the past five years I’ve tasted the comfort of being familiar.

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We’ve developed friends that have become like family whilst our families have been far away. We’ve become regulars at local restaurants. We get honked at on every walk we take…and not because we’re hotties; because people know us here. It’s nice to be known.

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However, God is calling our family toward change once again. We have prayerfully followed His leading over the past year and it seems He’s drawing our hearts to our families and a new, fresh take on church. LifeChurch.tv, to be exact. We fell in love with the leadership and inner workings of LifeChurch during our three days of interviews. It is heart-wrenching to leave behind so many fantastic people in Norman–people who have held our hands through three of the most difficult years of our lives. Friends who have become family and are helping us raise our kids.

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Despite the comfort and community we have in Norman, we’re thrilled to join LifeChurch as they use their resources, creativity and unique gifts to introduce people to Christ.

We’ll be moving to Tulsa in early November, starting at the Midtown location.

In the last ten days we’ve put a couple offers on the same home with the same weirdo sellers, sold our house twice in four days (before it was even listed), called 47 day care centers and been turned away either because of a year-long waiting list or because my son is in a wheelchair (BELIEVE IT–church day care centers do not have to comply with ADA. Sad.), I received three job offerings and took one exciting opportunity with Sky Fitness & Wellbeing.

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New doctors and therapists and neighbors and grocery stores. Change is good but it’s also hard. It generates insecurity and uncertainty…sentiments we naturally avoid.

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Nevertheless, God calls us to follow Him and to be brave. So, let’s go.

Thank you, Hannah, for shooting our family photos. You rock.

There’s Been a Murda’

Joey and I are Office fans. Big time. We recently went back through seasons 1-8…skipping the final season without Michael Scott. I’m certain we could quote just about every episode. One of our favorites is the episode where Michael tries to distract the staff from possible bankruptcy by playing a murder mystery game in the conference room. There’s been a murda’ in Savannah…

Anyhow, our annual murder mystery party was this weekend. The theme was a 1984 class reunion. Delicious food and fun decorations, Lauren had 80’s movie posters around the room and throw-back candy in dishes. Pop Rocks rock.

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I was the valedictorian-turned-lawyer. I faked my Harvard Law degree to conceal my online credentials.

Party crasher.

Party crasher.

Paisley ripped my name tag.

Paisley ripped my name tag.

Joey was a reporter/journalist for some sketchy sources.

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We’ve been super busy lately so these ridiculous wigs topped off our otherwise homemade outfits.

Hosted by the Weatherholts in their beautiful, newly renovated home.

Hosted by the Weatherholts in their beautiful, newly renovated home.

These friends are just so much fun.

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We are so blessed to be a part of such a fantastic group of people. They are life-long friends. Check out my other posts to see how to host your own murder mystery. How to Host a Murder Mystery    Murder Mystery 2013

Perspective

Last week I was going to write a post about perspective and how it’s everything. Our moments, years and lives are shaped by it. I can have the exact same day with the exact wrong perspective and I feel like the world is caving in on me.

The day I began this post, I had a great perspective. Paisley had slept from 9:00-6:30am the night before. Change-your-life kind of sleep.

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We ate at Waffle Champion for lunch. Met our dear friends’ new baby, Foster Bradley. Made faces with Paisley for about an hour while Finn napped. She’s gotten so much happier these days. Praise Jesus! We went on a run in perfect weather at my favorite time of evening.

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Perspective was optimistic.

Then the weekend came. Joey was out of town for a college retreat and my sweet mom drove down to help me take care of the kids.

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They were fighting colds and whined all weekend long. I began to think Paisley was reverting to her old ways. I was reverting to my old ways, feeling like I’m just not cut out for parenthood. I left this post in “Drafts” for a week because I didn’t have anything nice to say.

I’m selfish and these kids were cramping my style. I can no longer sleep in or sleep at all sometimes. Joey and I can’t just escape to Colorado for a climbing trip. Babysitters are expensive. Daycare is expensive. Mornings start early and days end late. Car rides are loud. My shoulders are soaked in drool or decorated with boogers.

Parenthood is nothing if not sacrifice.

“After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. So I will very gladly spend for you everything I have and expend myself as well.” 2 Cor. 12:14,15

Paul was referring to finances and the Corinthian Church here, but the implication is the same: parenthood begs personal sacrifice. When I resist this letting go, my perspective suffers.

Today I’m choosing gratitude. Selflessness. Christ in me. I choose to “spend myself” on behalf of them. And suddenly her cries are sweet and her drool makes me laugh.

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His relentless questions are adorable, not annoying.

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Joey’s coffee stains on the counter (and the floor) mean I have a husband who brews decaf for me when I’m running late. Blessings. Perspective is a choice.