Angels and Pine Trees

Mother’s Day of 2012 I asked for a shock collar so I could walk Jersey, our 100 lb. black lab, and not lose my arm. (Post: Shocker)

Last Mother’s Day I carried Paisley in my swollen belly, counting down the final weeks to her due date.

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Mother’s Day 2014

This year I asked for three things: 1) An edger  2) A pine tree (or three) and 3) a haircut. Well, today I received all but the edger. We got four pine trees on sale at Southwood’s Nursery and I used a gift card from my fabulous clients to get an eyebrow wax (it’s shameful how long it’s been) and a haircut.

There’s no denying mommyhood is difficult. Exhausting. Oftentimes thankless. Sometimes I feel like I’m suffocating in selflessness.

But today I felt so happy and so richly blessed to be Finn and Paisley’s mom. My eyes are welling with tears just thinking about it.

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Because of Finn’s disability, I’m acutely aware that every gift is a miracle. Every giggle, every perfectly grammatical sentence of Finn’s, every muscle twitch in Paisley’s quads, every wet diaper, every tear, every kiss. These are blessings I don’t deserve.

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Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. (James 1:17)

These children sleeping soundly on the sheets I washed in the jammies I picked out for them are truly angels. They are gifts from a God that doesn’t change. He is good. He is good. And He is good.

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Thank you, Lord, for allowing me to be a mommy. Help me to get better at it. I give Paisley and Finn back to you; they are Yours. Be my strength and shield when I’m weak. Breathe Your energy into me when I’m tired. Whisper Your love from my lips when I’m angry. Love them through me. Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you Warrior Moms. You rock. And NO ONE beats my mom, Deb and my MIL, Bec.You both inspire me to be a better mom.

(Read Post: Ode to the Mom)

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4 thoughts on “Angels and Pine Trees

  1. I love you so much. Man – I’ve been missing you this week. Prayed the same prayer this week – I’m not sure I’ve ever given my kids back to God. They are surely his. A gift I do not deserve and better handled in his care than mine. He is most definitely good. He is good. He is good. Love you.

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