How to Treat Kids Who Are Different: Part II

I know it can be awkward when your child asks an innocent, valid question about someone who may look or act differently. We don’t want to say the wrong thing so sometimes we avoid the situation/conversation altogether. I’ve been there.

I think before we can teach our kids anything about how to treat people, we first have to examine how we treat people. If we don’t spend time with people who look, move, live, worship, vote, or speak differently than us, why would our children want to?

First, let’s talk about verbiage.

  1. PLEASE remove the “r” word from your vocabulary. You know, that word you’ve used when you feel silly or stupid. The word that means “late or slow.” This word, to a special needs family, is the equivalent of the “n” word to an African American family. It is degrading and ugly.
  2. When you’re talking to your child about someone who may be different, try not to use the word, “wrong.” This implies they are broken, not right…less than. Wouldn’t it feel awful if a blonde child asked your brunette child, “What’s wrong with your hair?” For example, instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you/him/her/them?,” ask, “Why are you in a wheelchair?” “Why do you only have one leg?” “Why do you use that device?” “What’s your name?” “What’s your story?” I like that one the best.
  3. Speak in positives, not negatives. We say Finn “uses a wheelchair to get around” instead of “he can’t walk.” Say what they CAN do, not what they can’t. img_6605
  4. Remind children that we’re all different in some ways, and give specific examples of people they know. I wear glasses because my eyes don’t work quite right all the time. He has lighter skin and not a lot of hair. Her dark skin is beautiful, isn’t it? You have freckles, but I don’t. He has more energy and excitement than you. She likes to be quiet.
  5. Most importantly, tell children that although someone may be different, we all have similarities. Finn loves Paw Patrol, do you? He doesn’t run, but he can race you in his wheelchair! She has red hair like you! He’s the oldest too. You guys both have the same color eyes…

To provide well-rounded insight, I asked six brave moms of uniquely different children how they want their kiddos to be treated. Here’s what they said:

Brenda:

Sometimes the moms apologize for questions their children ask. And sometimes they join in explaining. I don’t think an apology is needed. Kids notice the difference but I also think they are better at adapting. They see beyond the wheelchair and see the kid (at least in most instances). They have an innocence…

Basically, I encourage the questions even if it’s awkward. It’s a learning moment for all! I never realized how “not” disability friendly our world is. The more we talk, explain, and educate the better the opportunities for change.

I’ve been so surprised by how many people are willing to think outside the box and help include my son. They just don’t know how to sometimes.

Last, thought…. I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for my kid. Yes, he struggles with things and has been through so much throughout his short life, but I don’t want that to influence how you treat him. The more normalcy in the chaos helps him to develop and grow like his peers. It builds his esteem and character. I put him in time out just like others his age.”

No apology necessary. Ask questions and push through the awkwardness…your kid (and you) will learn a lot and you’ll make our child feel valued. Include us in creative ways! Don’t feel sorry for us.

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Christi:

When kids ask “What’s wrong with him?” my response is, “Nothing. He was born where his legs don’t work like yours or mine, so he gets to ride around in this cool wheelchair.” Most of the time this is a satisfying answer and they move on.

My mom told me one time of a book she read, and in that book it said that everyone has their own disability. If you think about it there is something off/different about each of us. Someone who wears glasses obviously has poor eyesight, and that’s their disability. And not all are visible.

We just have to talk, educate and make it normal to not be normal. I tell Ryder all the time that it’s better to be different, because no one else is exactly like him and that is his power. “

We are all disabled in some way, right? Some of us came from crappy homes. Some of us aren’t very good in social situations. Some of us are too loud or too quiet. Some of us struggle with addiction. Some of us struggle in our minds. Some of us feel mastered by food. Finn’s disability (and others like him) is just more visible. He can’t hide it. I think this actually makes him MORE FREE to be himself.

I love how Christi tells Ryder his “ab-normalcy” is his “power.” Our differences can be like our super-powers! I cry like a baby in every super-hero movie because the story is the same: they are born a little different, pushed to the fringes of society, and then rise above it all for the greater good. Mighty Finn.

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Stephanie:

“I love it when parents and kids ask questions. I love to tell people about Caleb and about Down syndrome.

Caleb and Tyler (siblings) are quite a pair. Sometimes Tyler is a bit too much of a “mother hen”. Most often, though, he is Caleb’s biggest cheerleader, helper and friend. I love watching them together, and I think they are both better people because they have each other.”

Keep asking questions! Don’t “shush” your children. Approach us. Value us.

I’ll never forget this little boy in a doctor’s office when we first moved to Tulsa. We were in the waiting room and my stomach dropped when a 7-ish year old boy approached Finn. He looked Finn in the eyes and asked, “Do you want to play with me on the slide?” Then he looked at me and said, “I can help him get up.”

I watched through my own tears as this little boy lifted Finn up the steps onto the next platform to go down the slide and then cheered him on at the bottom. Changed my life.

WHO ARE YOUR PARENTS, CHILD?! I WANT TO KISS THEM ON THE MOUTH! (He was with his grandma and I gave her the highest praise for her mature, kind little grandson.)

Raylea:

Your friend’s intentional parenting is what is sticking with me today. As my kids have aged, it has been increasingly hard to keep them involved with peers who don’t have disabilities….

In the last year, we have been involved in Special Olympics, and I have found some spectacular ‘typical peers’ there! There are High School kids who volunteer to play sports with my kids…they want to be there. Several of them have a sibling with special needs, but they are there to help whether or not their sibling is. Parents should encourage their kids to participate in a peer program like this.

I wish that all parents would be intentional with their kids. Evaluate whether their schedule is adding lasting value to their life? Do they have time to help a neighbor or a friend in need? Do they have time to participate in activities that are inclusive of those who are different? …

I want them to be given the opportunity to succeed at age appropriate skills, but I feel like they are losing the ability to engage in age appropriate skills because everyone else is ‘too busy’ trying to achieve some unrealistic goal.

I do enjoy when kids are naturally curious about Micah. I don’t discourage questions. I like to answer them. The most common question is, “What happened to his leg?” when they see his AFO or his wrist splint. He will respond now, “Nothing happened, it just helps me walk better, or use my arm better.” And then they head off to discuss Star Wars or Captain America. Cool.

People need to know some of the ways he is different so they can understand him. He wouldn’t ever want someone to think he was being unfriendly because he didn’t wave back when they wave to him. He simply didn’t see them!

A doctor once referred to Micah’s weaker side as his “BAD SIDE” and that chapped me. I would encourage people to avoid using negative terms when referring to our kids in any way.

I want to ask my kids how they want to be treated…that may be Part III. 😉

Be intentional in your parenting. Help your kids invest more in people than sports or activities. This will help them become adjusted adults.
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Ask questions–there it is again! Avoid negative words. Try to understand.
Brooke:

“Just treat Cash the same as you’d treat any other friend. He can do the same things other kids do, especially when he is encouraged and cheered for. (But isn’t that what we all want?)  If we were all the same the world would be a super boring place!

…Honestly it would thrill me to death if they took the time to research and maybe attend a local event that benefits people with Down syndrome.


I would want parents to tell their kids to be kind to ALL people. Just because someone is different than you are doesn’t mean they are weird or bad or scary. They want friends just like the rest of us. We are more alike than different.
We are more alike than different. Take time to research and understand your friends who are different.
Encourage your kids to get to know other kids who are different. Attending a Buddy Walk or Special Olympics or Endeavor Games adaptive sports event is a great start. At these events, you will feel like the different one…and that’s not so bad.
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Jordan:
“Ask.  Please ask.  Don’t scold your kids for asking.  I love the chance to de-mystify braces or a zip zac or the scar on Poppy’s back that most kids think is a “belly button on her back.” I’ve been the mom completely anxious around a kiddo with special needs, just cringing and praying that my kid wouldn’t be the one to say something insensitive.

…I love the opportunity to get to normalize something for a young, formative mind.  I love to watch it not matter to them as much as I thought it would.  Like when I said to the little girl asking why Poppy had a belly button on her back: “That’s actually a scar because she had a surgery when she was really, really small.”  “Oh, I like her ponytail too.”  Very un-scary.  

I also love to let Poppy hear us talk about her proudly and confidently.
Please ask.
We get a lot of “oh, what happened to her?” or “oh, what’s wrong with her”.  While USUALLY these don’t upset me, the kindest and most inviting way I’ve ever heard a stranger ask about Poppy was “Would you share with me about why she wears those braces?”  I loved it.
Be mindful of the setting.  I’ve had people yell questions at me across a crowded public space.  I recognize this as someone who was probably really passionate about identifying a commonality, but it was embarrassing and made me feel like I should protect Poppy.
Invite and include.   We’ll decide if it’s something that we can’t do (ie.  A gymnastics party or a party at a Bounce house).  Most special needs parents and kiddos are pretty good at figuring out how to adapt, so we’ll either figure out a way to make it work.  Don’t assume that being asked might be too painful.  Being uninvited is usually more painful. 
Again, let your kids ask. Who cares if you’re feeling awkward, but be prepared with a response. Invite us! Include us! We all want to be invited even if we can’t make it, right?!
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THANK YOU, moms, for your input. You and your husbands are saints in my book. I know well the difficulty of cathing and lifting and worrying and struggling to put on jeans and pre-op and post-op and being left out and IEPS and ER waiting rooms. God is with us.
THANK YOU to those of you who have responded so well to these posts, wanting to learn and teach your kiddos. Jesus smiles when we love (all) people well. The fact that you’re reading this makes me feel you value Finn, and if you value Finn, you value me.
Please add to this conversation if you have any input or questions! I know there are many other friends of mine who have great wisdom here.
There are also many differences unmentioned in this post…racial, religious, behavioral, terminal disease, etc. I want to know your heart.

How to Treat Kids Who Are Different: Part I

This blog post is in honor of Finn, on his 5th BIRTHDAY! I cannot believe it.

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You may be one of those people who want to be different. March to the beat of your own drum kind-of-person. Most of us, however, just want to fit in. I was the “new girl” every two years of my life, as my family moved around the country for my dad’s job. All I wanted was to blend in as quickly and seamlessly as possible, make friends, and become “popular.” Finding a cute boyfriend was a plus.

My son, Finn, however, cannot just “blend in.” Nor, do I believe, he wants to. He sits happily between two wheels, zooming through the lobby at church, holding back the urge to pop a wheelie in line at school, and eager to help me “treasure hunt” for groceries at Whole Foods.

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Finn’s 5th birthday party: bowling and pizza with 19 buddies from school and the cousins!

He is obviously different from the average five year old…and he seems okay with that.

When Finn was born, OU Children’s Hospital hooked us up with another family for emotional support. This child was several years older than Finn and also had Spina Bifida. I got up the courage one morning to call his mom, Debbie. I asked her what her son was currently struggling with. “Well, he’s really ornery and lately he’s been in trouble for annoying his big sister.” Her answer took me off guard! It was a relief, honestly. I expected something medical and tragic in nature, but her wisdom assured me that Finn will likely be like any other boy–mischievous and annoying, just on wheels. 🙂

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Spina Bifida will be a part of his life. It will not define his life.

Your differences will be a part of your life. But don’t let them define your life.

When you are unique or have a child who is unique in some outwardly obvious way, it is common to get stares, double-takes, sweet and curious questions, rude statements, unsolicited advice, and oftentimes unwanted attention.

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I hated this for the first two years of Finn’s life. I avoided birthday parties, crowded doctor’s offices, playgrounds…anywhere some child or parent might ask or say something I didn’t know how to answer. Now, though, I love to share Finn with the world; it just took some maturing, prayer, and preparation on my part.

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Cousin Ev, Tucker and Sully came all the way from Missouri to celebrate!

Today a sweet college friend messaged me and told me she took the initiative to tell her son all about Finn recently. She showed him videos of him wheeling up ramps and being silly. They laughed together and had a good conversation about being different. Her kindness and intentional parenting prompted me to finally write this post I’ve thought about for years. Her words: “My prayer is that God will continue working in his already sensitive heart…and that he will have eyes to see and a desire to befriend kids who are different than him.” Thank you, Claire.

I’ve had several friends ask great questions in confidence, “How do you like Finn to be treated?” “What should we say when our kids ask questions?” “Do you like to be approached or would you rather be left alone?”

These are all valid questions, and ones I will answer with the help of a few other moms of uniquely awesome children. That info will be in PART II of this blog post and I hope to post that late Wednesday night or Thursday.

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My mom and Finn share a birthday (today!). We celebrated my mom’s 60th in Dallas this weekend! She’s the cute one holding Paisley on the right. Check out Finn at the head of the table. 😉

I’ll leave you with this tonight. One of the best quotes I’ve heard on this topic is:

“If you want to know how to treat a child with special needs, watch their sibling. They will show you.” (simplyrealmoms)

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Hotel giggles and shenanigans…TOOK THREE STINKIN’ HOURS to fall asleep!

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SO GRATEFUL for their friendship. Thank you, Jesus.

Come back Wednesday night (or Thursday if I don’t get to it) for some more insight (and other opinions) on this topic!

How to Be Brave

Some people are born brave. Some people are forced to become brave. And maybe there are some people who will never be brave.

Yesterday Finn woke up from nap time at school with blood dripping from his mouth. He had bitten through his bottom lip, was lethargic and his skin was splotchy red. The teachers assumed he had a seizure, though no one saw him shake or go rigid. We took him to the ER and ran a shunt series (IV, blood work, head and chest x-rays, and CT scan) to be sure his shunt was working properly and that his brain wasn’t swollen. Praise God all his tests came back normal!

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Apparently this was his first seizure and most likely not his last. We’d appreciate your prayers against them. They’re so scary to me, and yet another thing to worry about/watch out for.

As Finn was wheeling away from the CT scan room, wiping tears from his eyes, he said through swollen lips, “I was so brave, wasn’t I, Momma? It wasn’t so bad. Where are the Popsicles?”

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Nothing terrifies Finn more than being strapped down and shoved inside that spinning CT scan tunnel, but he was forced to do it (not the first time; not the last), and he emerged braver. He was an over-comer, and he knew it. He was brave.

Since I was a child, I’ve been a risk-taker, dangling my legs over the edge of the canyon, asking bold questions, and pushing boundaries.

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But I’ve been fearful, so  O U T S I D E  my comfort zone, in the past two years because of various life, friendship and career changes. I’ve had to remind myself daily:

“God did not give [me] a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, love and self-discipline.”   2 Timothy 1:7

So if I entertain fear, it’s not from God.

 

How to Be Brave:

1. Feel the fear, but do it anyway.

-I tell my clients, “Don’t think, just do it.” Box jumps. Pull ups. Meal planning.

2. Remember what you’ve already overcome. Think back to the struggles. Many of us have endured some scary stuff. Stand tall; you made it!

-Parenting is tough. Wear your supermom/dad cape with pride, knowing this is perhaps the most difficult job you’ll ever have.

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3. Make a commitment and stand by your word.

“A commitment is doing what you said you’d do long after the mood you said you’d do it in is gone.” -George Zaluki

-Faith in God. Marriage. Jobs. Ministry. Taking your kids to the park. These are commitments we stand by whether we feel like it or not.

-I love the phrase, “Because I said I would…” There aren’t many characteristics I admire more in people than those who do what they said they’d do, when they said they’d do it.

4. Instead of shrinking from that which you’re afraid of, go toward it. Run! Now.

5. Put yourself in situations where you’re uncomfortable.

-Comfortable faith and comfortable lives don’t transform us or inspire others. Get to the point where you’re actually uncomfortable in your comfort zone.

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6. Surround yourself with people who are bolder and more courageous than you are. They’ll rub off on you.

7. Dream bigger.

-I’m a realist, so I’m guilty of dreaming small. I dream only for what I think is attainable. That’s boring, and it doesn’t involve faith or big thinking.

-Write those dreams down somewhere and share them with others. It makes them more real and you’re accountable for them.

8. Pretend you’re brave.

-When I first became a personal trainer, I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I liked people and I liked movement…so I made people move. I faked it. When they’d ask why we were doing a particular exercise, if I didn’t know the answer, I’d say something semi-intelligent then let them know I’d research the answer. And I did. I got better.

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9. Practice being brave.

-Talk to your cashier. Ask them a specific question like, “Do you work all evening? Has it been a tough day?” Look them in the eye.

-Invite someone to your church. Or your gym. Or your play date group.

-Order your own food. I listened to one of the top-earners in Arbonne say she used to be so terrified of being in front of people that she actually couldn’t even order her own food at a restaurant or in the drive-thru.

-Ask your family and friends questions. Be in control of the conversation.

-Voice a complaint or a compliment–in person–at a local establishment.

-Discipline your kids. They’re kids; you know best. Be the boss.

-Ask for a raise and articulate why you deserve it. But be sure you deserve it.

 10. Ask God for courage. He commands it.

-Mary and Joseph, Ruth, Rahab, Joseph son of Jacob, Paul, Moses, Abraham, Solomon, David, Peter…these imperfect people trusted in a perfect God for their courage and strength.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9

Be braver, friends. I’m right there with you. 

 

St. Francis Children’s Hospital, Room B2

Finn whispered, “Will you guys pray for me?” Joey, his mom and I started crying. Then we prayed over his sweaty little body; cheeks red and flushed, eyes closed.

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We called his nurse in for some Motrin and about 30 minutes later, he snapped out of it. The South Tulsa LifeKids team was visiting when Finn seemed to come back to life.

Stephen and Finn

Stephen and Finn

He was calling us “Poopy,” giggling and asking his nurse about the Avengers on her scrubs.

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Sunday evening, Finn refused dinner, said his head hurt and asked to take a nap at 5:00pm. Something was not right. We got him home from a family run at Turkey Mountain, where the kids had performed their first “rock climbing,” and Finn had a 102.9 fever–the highest we’d ever seen with him.

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After medication, we checked on him every 15 minutes and his temp was dropping, so we let him sleep through the night. He woke up Monday morning happy and ready to go to school.

School called around 3:00pm saying he woke up from his nap, said his head hurt and threw up. I picked him up and Joey and Paisley met us at the pediatrician. We were hoping it was the return of an ear infection he had a month ago. Nope; ears looked perfect. Our doctor said to take him to the ER…although it’s very rare, it could be a possible shunt infection.

Finn has a VP shunt behind his right ear. It’s a small device that regulates the spinal fluid pressure in his brain, caused (in his case) by Spina Bifida. It keeps him alive and was placed by a neurosurgeon three days after his birth. When it malfunctions, the shunt’s catheter gets clogged and CSF (cerebral spinal fluid) accumulates in his brain, causing him to feel very sick. Most often, it requires immediate surgery to fix. This has happened twice, but not since 2012.

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We spent about 6 wearisome hours in the ER at St. Francis.

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Joey’s parents helped with Paisley, friends brought us dinner, and Joey’s boss and his wife visited the hospital then took over for my mother-in-law staying at our house with Paisley.

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They ran every test–blood, urine, swab for infection, strep, CT scan, and a shunt x-ray series. Everything came back negative for infection and the shunt seemed to be working properly; nothing was kinked or clogged. His inflammatory indicator was high, but white blood cell count was normal. We were baffled. They decided to admit him overnight to continue investigation.

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They gave him the same antibiotics as they would if he had spinal meningitis, not wanting to leave anything up to chance in case he had a shunt infection. Finn and I spent Monday night in the hospital, where they came in every hour for some test or IV check. Every 3 hours they pried his eyes open and shined a light in them. Fever was still pretty high. By mid-morning he was basically unresponsive for about 3 hours.

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We’d ask him to look at us and he wouldn’t turn his head; even when his eyes were open. We were scared and praying hard. This is when he asked us, “Will you guys pray for me?”

Tulsa recently got a new pediatric neurosurgeon, and she was on Finn’s case. She ordered a shunt tap–they stick a needle into the shunt and extract CSF to test it for infection. If it is infected, they will remove the shunt and replace a new one–a major surgery and two-six week hospital stay. The shunt tap was ordered at 10:00am, but no one heard from Neuro until 8:00pm that evening. By that time, Finn had rallied and was feeling so much better that we were playing catch with a foam baseball when she arrived at his room.

Daddy made a tent!

Daddy made a tent!

Cousin Ev, Tuck and Sully sent balloons!

Cousin Ev, Tuck and Sully sent balloons!

Gym friends brought a Miles of Tomorrowland toy!

Gym friends brought a Miles of Tomorrowland toy!

She decided not to risk the shunt tap since he was obviously feeling better.

He woke up Wednesday feeling great and even ate a donut!

He woke up Wednesday feeling great and even ate a donut!

We left the hospital around 6:30pm on Wednesday, still unsure of the source of infection but thankful for Finn’s improved health nonetheless. Perhaps it was a weird virus? God, no doubt, had healed him.

Our miracle boy.

Our miracle boy.

Thank you so very much for your prayers and encouragement during this difficult week for our family. We are blessed by the community you provide us. You are, quite literally, the “hands and feet of Christ” in our lives. Keep praying for Finn: that he would not relapse and that his shunt would continue to work properly.

Endeavor Games 2015

This weekend Finn competed in his first ever Endeavor Games. We weren’t quite sure how he’d enjoy it, so we didn’t really invite anyone to attend. It’s a qualifying event for the 2016 Paralympics, so people take it very seriously–there’s a starting gun and sanctioned rules and everything.

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We thought Finn might even hear the gun, have a meltdown and wheel off the track; but he surprised us and had a lot of fun.

He came in dead last in the 20m dash…it was so cute.

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He heard the pop, wheeled a little, stopped to look around, wheeled a little faster once he saw Paisley and I at the end of the track, then stopped about 2 feet from the finish line to take it all in. Keep going, buddy!

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I'm a track star...no big deal. ;)

I’m a track star…no big deal. 😉

He also enjoyed reconnecting with Ryder, our buddy from OKC.

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Helmet bump

Helmet bump

These athletes are unreal. Many were in wheelchairs and others of them had limb differences; a few were even double or triple amputees.

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I had to turn and face the other direction several times to hide my tears as I watched these people defy all odds, pushing their bodies beyond their God-given potential. Goosebumps everywhere.

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What excuse do you and I have not to move?

Finn was more comfortable in the 60m dash and he didn’t even finish last!

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I’m pretty certain he was technically disqualified because he went from the farthest lane to the nearest lane, diagonally across the track. It’s hard for a 3 year old to stay in the lines!

He won two medals anyway. 🙂

Ugh. He's the cutest.

Ugh. He’s the cutest.

We also had our annual roommate reunion this weekend, so Jane and the Whites came to cheer Finn on.

Missing our Al at dinner!

Missing our Al at dinner!

He was so happy to see them all at the finish line. “You came to visit me?!” he beamed.

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Finn loves Navy.

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Later in the day, Finn attempted the shot put. He didn’t like how they strapped down his wheelchair. It also didn’t help that there were 20 volunteers standing around watching him. The official was an older, shall I say, gruff woman.

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She was a stickler for the rules and would yell “Foul!” when Finn didn’t throw the ball the right way. He cried and asked if he could race instead. Obviously he wasn’t having fun anymore, so we decided to skip the javelin and discus and drove home to Tulsa early. Maybe we’ll try the sitting implements again next year.

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Paisley loved clapping for big brother!

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It was a blessing to see Finn so proud of himself, and it was good for Joey and I to be reminded we are not alone in the world of disabilities. There are many other families out there like us, and many other angels like Finn.

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Things That Aren’t

Finn’s so smart. I know, I know…your kid is smart too. But Finn is really smart. 😉 His brain is most impressive because we were told in the NICU that he may not ever be able to communicate with us. He would be severely mentally handicapped.

Not this kid! He’s truly a miracle. We can read a library book to him once or twice and he will recite it the third time. His mind is a steel trap. He reminds you that two days ago you said he could go to church and that he could have chocolate milk at Starbucks. He knows all 43 of his trains by name.

With Daddy at Easter!

With Daddy at Easter!

But he’s also emotionally intelligent. If my brow is furrowed while I’m strapping him into his carseat, he’ll ask, “Why are you frustrated, Momma?”

Landscaping problems...

Landscaping problems…

We recently read a library book called “Some Kids Use Wheelchairs.” I was hesitant to read Finn this book, worried that a conversation about his disability might ensue. I’m not sure I’m ready for that discussion emotionally. Anyhow, the first few pages discuss why some kids are in wheelchairs.

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Some kids use wheelchairs because their legs are weak or they had an accident. They can’t walk.

I sheepishly asked Finn if he could walk. “Yes I can.” Oh? Can you stand up? “Yes.” So why do you use a wheelchair? No response. He turned the page…

We read this book many more times before returning it to the Book Drop. Each time, Finn was adamant: he can walk.

Whether this is a display of faith or ignorance really doesn’t matter. I count it a blessing that Finn is confident and relatively unaware that he’s not like everyone else. I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought we were the weird ones…walking around on two feet and whatnot.

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“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Cor. 4:18).

In Finn’s mind, he is able to do anything. I believe this is a result of prayer, God’s lavish grace, and decent parenting. God gives life to things that aren’t alive. He redeems the broken. Makes the sick well. He bestows honor and power and courage on a child in a wheelchair. I’m so thankful to be Finn’s momma. I can’t hardly wait to see all God continues to do in his little, important life.

We Prayed for You

Teachers, we prayed for you tonight. We prayed that you would equip Finn with challenging thoughts and more questions than answers. Teach him that his mind is powerful. Help him find what he’s good at and excel at it. We prayed that you would make accommodations for him but not isolate him. Empower him, please.

LifeKids volunteers, we prayed for you tonight. We prayed you would engage Finn in meaningful play; that you would encourage him to join the kids in the bounce house or at the tiny tables, even though it is difficult and unnatural. We prayed that you would show him who Jesus is: that He’s good and kind.

Kids, we prayed for you tonight. We prayed that one or two of you would be kind, inclusive and accepting of Finn and the ways he’s different. We prayed you’d be brave enough to stick up for him, make a place for him at the lunch table, pass him the ball and hold the door. Be his friend.

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Girls, we prayed for you tonight. Take care of your body. Then cover it up. Let your inner beauty shine brighter than your outer beauty. We prayed that one of you might fall in love with the boy in the wheelchair. You’d love his humor, his hazel eyes, and his tenacity. He would be your hero and you’d be his.

Doctors and nurses, we prayed for you tonight. That you’d sleep well and be clear-minded to keep Finn and other kids like him healthy and strong. That you’d know what to do in emergencies and save his life if you have to. Be patient with us parents…we’re sensitive.

Thankful for a great neurology appointment this week.

Thankful for a great neurology appointment this week.

Jesus, I prayed to you tonight. My boy isn’t like other boys. Most of the time I love that; I’m thankful for that. But for a minute tonight, I hated it. Sometimes I’m strong, but today the kids pointing at Finn and the stares and the exclusion made me weak. Please help me be the best mom to him (and Paisley) that I can. Thank you for my angel and the miracles you’ve displayed in his life. Thank you for all you will do with his future.